Thursday, October 6, 2011

On being a Bitch

This will be a sister post to one I posted on my livejournal a while back that I will repost here later. I was going to repost it first, but I figured Melissa deserved something new to read.

Bitch, Please.

I want to know when "Bitch" became a badge of honor for women. Seriously, I do. When did being outspoken to the point of cruelty become more desirable that being kind? I'm not saying that women should be simpering spineless drones wandering around with false smiles on their faces pretending that all is right with the world, far from it in fact. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have bitter, catty, mean or snarky moments. I personally happen to love being a bit snarky here and there, if a situation calls for it. You also better believe that I'm gonna stand up for myself when I feel it's warranted. I just happen to chose my battles (and chose them probably more carefully than most because I have a way over active guilt complex and I hate that feeling). I see things like "You say bitch like it's a bad thing" well, I think it is. I have friends who think they are bitches, have told me they think that about themselves, but in truth, they aren't. They're regular women who occasionally say something in a snarky or even painfully blunt way. I do know women who embrace this "bitch" mentality. I have worked with them, my mom still works with women like this. They take pride in being as mean and nasty and back-stabby as they can because they like the drama this causes. These people start nastiness, gossip, and strife that turns people against each other and then sit back and come out smelling like a rose. This kind of thing is what gives women working together a bad name.

I know that I'm not going to like everyone I meet. Far from it, especially people I meet online (hello people in weddingplans that I want to hit *waves*). However, there are ways to deal with it. I can call or text my friends and vent about things. I can join snark communities where I can complain about a person until I calm down enough to handle something with grace and without hurting their feelings. I can come up with ways to confront people that aren't bitchy, especially if I don't think the person meant to piss me off. (Although, this backfires a lot for me, people tend to be so used to me backing down and choosing my battles that they over react like WHOA when I stand up. Once I'm up, I don't back down.). I understand the occasional bout of the bitch within. Especially if it's a straw that broke the camel's back type thing. I definitely am not going to spread rumors, talk trash (even if it's true) with people who are going to get the person in trouble, just cause I don't like a person. Even if a person stabs me repeatedly in the back (or front for that matter), especially because being sickly sweet can be the best revenge in this case (see, I'm no angel).

Now, I know this post sounds a bit really preachy, and there's nothing quite as insufferable as a preachy blogger, especially one making her second post ever. I'm also just as guilty as being an accidental bitch as anyone (I have a bit of a temper, although I'm better at controlling it now). The thing is, this rant comes from a place of pain for me. I lost a job I loved, partially because one of these women decided she hated me enough to call me a name that eventually lead to my boss being forced out of his job, and the resulting new boss getting rid of me for reasons I won't go into. I also hear my mother, a woman who is incredibly strong and rarely displays negative emotion, getting so upset at her co-workers behaving like this because they think she's a snob due to of all things, her vocabulary. Anyway, I promise to make entertaining non preachy posts as well as ones like these. Sometimes you just have to speak what's in your heart ya know?


  1. Oh I think I get exactly what you're saying. I can be a bitch but it's not something I set out to do, and not something I'm proud of (unless it's the occasional bitching at Verizon wireless for screwing us over, then I feel pretty good). But there ARE people who are just mean, nasty women and that's what they take pride in being. Kinda like a certain sister I know who just relishes being a total jerk. I get it. And it's totally not ok and I hate people like that. The occasional bout of bitchiness is generally acceptable and warranted but not if that's your entire existence.

    And I think it works the same way for guys, too. There are the occasional assholes and then there are the TRUE assholes. Like the dick you told me about Monday, mmm hmmm!

  2. Oh! I have a post about that in mind, (I'll put the whole story on lj when it stops being broken), about how to piss me off and what to expect when you have done it. It'll take some time as I want it to be funny as well as serious.

  3. I think you should TOTALLY post your bridesmaid WP post on here! That's so good it SHOULD be public :)

  4. Maybe I will, a blog is definitely a better place for it, I just don't want to piss more people off over a lighthearted fun rant.